Back & forth

Sometimes I wish I knew how to travel in time. Certain things seem so right at the moment but when you have the time to look back and think....there are soo many options. Each leading to a different road that will change every aspect of your future life. Where would i be right now if i had never befriended that one person, what kind of person would i be today? where would i be if i hadnt fucked up my education this past year? what if i just decided to get up that one day and not waste my life and pity myself because that felt like the most appeasing thing to do.
I just wish i could go back and fix a few things, make a few more productive choices, But i guess it wouldn't be growing up if i didnt make mistakes.
What if i could just go back in time and relive my past with all the knowledge and maturity i have now. who knows where i'd be, how many people would love me, how many people would hate me.

I want to surround myself with people who won't make my life a living hell. People i can singalong with in cars, make stupid jokes with, make up stupid songs with, to watch me spin in chairs and tell me im a freak, to paint with, to take pictures with, to drive around aimlessly with, to discover new things with, to learn life lessons with. People who don't act like they are a child, who don't judge me on the odd things i do, people who don't think they are better than everyone else, people who don't have chips on their shoulders. I want to be surrounded with people who make me question myself, people who push me to do things i would never think about doing.

Where are you people?

Force

I did it. Well, technically Brad did it, but now the force will always be with me. Lightsabers on my fingers. wutututuututuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttt

Bum life

Lately I've been waking up at 2-6 PM. It's insane, i don't understand how i can sleep sooo long.
I've been a bum. I haven't been doing the things i wanted to get done. I haven't produced any intriguing photographs, paintings, or writings. I just i dont know what the hell i do with my time. I hate time. It runs my life. I have to coordinate everything i do within whatever time allows.
Time PFL

p.s. videochatted for the first time lastnight, soo awkward but maybe that's cause it was on mute? I dont know, it got a little interesting after that though x_X

Life in the Now

So I've done a lot of growing up in the past year. I've done things I used to only imagine of doing. I've changed my views, accepted new ones, lost friends, made friends, stayed in a room for three months while I tried to escape reality. I had my "first love," if that's what you'd call it and I had my first heartbreak. I would be overjoyed to say that I was completely over the boy who at once made me believe I could do anything . But honestly, I'm not. A string of hope for the past six months has kept me going, or has it been stopping me? I really don't know. And I honestly don't care. My downfall was being too naive... Supposedly. maybe it's still my downfall, but I feel like some people aren't going to stack up to that. I want so bad to hate but only because I want to love? BLAH BLAH. It makes no sense. It's one big contradiction. My life is full of contradictions. What can I do? How about nothing like I have been... where will that get me?
I'm about to start my life. Or travel down the road that will shape it. I used to be more cautious and aware, but now it seems as if I'm literally just livin'. Take some risks, make some mistakes, learn something, well i can live without a few mistakes but that's not my point. My point is that i'm not holding back anymore. I'm going where I want to be and I'd like to see someone stop me, give it a whirl.